While I was nursing the baby today, Jameson clogged the bathroom sink with string cheese, turned on the water and the light, and closed the door (but not without locking it from the inside first).
Thanks for mopping the floor, dude. Now to take apart the sink drain to fish out the rest of the cheese...
Monday, July 27, 2015
Monday, June 22, 2015
Postpartum Bradycardia
I've had some bradycardia, slow heart rate, since Sawyer was born. No doctor I talk to seems to know why, or what is wrong, and they don't mention ever seeing it before. I can't find any published articles or studies on it. In fact, I can only find stories of postpartum bradycardia on message boards and blogs. So, I wanted to document my experience to bump up the google juice on this issue (not that my blog is a Technorati star. Is Technorati still a thing? I miss 2007.)
First of all, my heart and lungs look perfectly healthy. The foreboding feeling that I'm about to drop dead has subsided. I'm OK.
Now lemme tell you what happened.
I was discharged from the hospital on Thursday, June 4th. Other than my blood pressure dropping when I got my epidural, no one taking my vitals during my stay at the hospital mentioned anything about low pulse or abnormal blood pressure. I should have paid more attention so I could have that context.
Shortly after coming home, I noticed that my swelling wasn't going down. In fact, my feet and ankles were much more swollen than they had been my entire pregnancy. I thought this was strange, but thought I'd give it a week to go down. My milk came in on Thursday and I was drinking about a gallon of water a day, which doesn't seem like a lot when I'm breastfeeding!
On Friday, I started noticing a heaviness in my chest and palpitations, like my heart was beating really heavily and clear up in my neck. It felt like My 28-lb Blake was sitting on my chest. I believe he has actually done this before, so I have a pretty solid point of reference. Ha. It felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen. I had to consciously take a deep breath every so often to keep up.
This continued, and reckless googling led me to believe that I had a blood clot, postpartum preeclampsia, or some other condition that could be very serious.
On Sunday, it hadn't gone away and I decided to go to urgent care. My BP was around 150/97, super high for me. They sent me right to the ER.
In the ER, I was hooked up to a heart monitor and my pulse rested right around 41 the whole time we were there, though my BP normalized to 130/70, give or take. This is high for me, but not "high." I had an EKG to measure my heart rhythm (it was normal, but slow), a CT scan to check for clots (lungs were clear) and a chest x-ray to look at my heart (it was normal and also showed that there was no fluid in my lungs.
They did a blood workup and I was normal. But I was freaking out. Why was this happening? Why didn't anyone know what it was? I couldn't breathe laying on my back, but sitting up was killing my tailbone. I was exhausted because I hadn't slept in 5 days. I had milk dripping all over me (they finally brought me a pump, thank goodness). I was thinking about the ER visit we were still paying off from last year when I had my appendectomy. I felt guilty that my dumb heart was costing us so much money, especially now, right before all our baby bills started rolling in.
The ER doc came in and said that his first thought was that the slow heart rate was my body's compensation for all the fluids it was trying to flush out after having a baby, but that theory was ruled out once he saw that I didn't have fluid in my lungs. In my bloodwork, the marker for blood clot was higher than he'd like, but tests ruled that out as well, too.
He had me walk around with a heart monitor to see if my heart responded to the stimulus of movement and increased. It did. Walking around, my HR quickly got up to about 60 bpm, but as soon as I sat down again, it went right back to 41.
They sent me home with a 24-hour holter monitor to track my heart rhythms for a full day, and I was discharged after four hours of ER misery.
Sitting here now, two weeks later, my heart rate is 54 bpm. (I'm not 100% calm because my three year old is trying his darndest to make me blow a gasket today, so this is probably a little on the high side). Most days it hovers around 50. The heaviness in my chest is mostly gone. I get it here and there, but it's mostly cleared up.
And that's my story, out there for the Internet.
If you've experienced this, leave me a comment. I'm interested to know who else has had this happen and what came of it!
First of all, my heart and lungs look perfectly healthy. The foreboding feeling that I'm about to drop dead has subsided. I'm OK.
Now lemme tell you what happened.
I was discharged from the hospital on Thursday, June 4th. Other than my blood pressure dropping when I got my epidural, no one taking my vitals during my stay at the hospital mentioned anything about low pulse or abnormal blood pressure. I should have paid more attention so I could have that context.
Shortly after coming home, I noticed that my swelling wasn't going down. In fact, my feet and ankles were much more swollen than they had been my entire pregnancy. I thought this was strange, but thought I'd give it a week to go down. My milk came in on Thursday and I was drinking about a gallon of water a day, which doesn't seem like a lot when I'm breastfeeding!
On Friday, I started noticing a heaviness in my chest and palpitations, like my heart was beating really heavily and clear up in my neck. It felt like My 28-lb Blake was sitting on my chest. I believe he has actually done this before, so I have a pretty solid point of reference. Ha. It felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen. I had to consciously take a deep breath every so often to keep up.
This continued, and reckless googling led me to believe that I had a blood clot, postpartum preeclampsia, or some other condition that could be very serious.
On Sunday, it hadn't gone away and I decided to go to urgent care. My BP was around 150/97, super high for me. They sent me right to the ER.
In the ER, I was hooked up to a heart monitor and my pulse rested right around 41 the whole time we were there, though my BP normalized to 130/70, give or take. This is high for me, but not "high." I had an EKG to measure my heart rhythm (it was normal, but slow), a CT scan to check for clots (lungs were clear) and a chest x-ray to look at my heart (it was normal and also showed that there was no fluid in my lungs.
They did a blood workup and I was normal. But I was freaking out. Why was this happening? Why didn't anyone know what it was? I couldn't breathe laying on my back, but sitting up was killing my tailbone. I was exhausted because I hadn't slept in 5 days. I had milk dripping all over me (they finally brought me a pump, thank goodness). I was thinking about the ER visit we were still paying off from last year when I had my appendectomy. I felt guilty that my dumb heart was costing us so much money, especially now, right before all our baby bills started rolling in.
The ER doc came in and said that his first thought was that the slow heart rate was my body's compensation for all the fluids it was trying to flush out after having a baby, but that theory was ruled out once he saw that I didn't have fluid in my lungs. In my bloodwork, the marker for blood clot was higher than he'd like, but tests ruled that out as well, too.
He had me walk around with a heart monitor to see if my heart responded to the stimulus of movement and increased. It did. Walking around, my HR quickly got up to about 60 bpm, but as soon as I sat down again, it went right back to 41.
They sent me home with a 24-hour holter monitor to track my heart rhythms for a full day, and I was discharged after four hours of ER misery.
Sitting here now, two weeks later, my heart rate is 54 bpm. (I'm not 100% calm because my three year old is trying his darndest to make me blow a gasket today, so this is probably a little on the high side). Most days it hovers around 50. The heaviness in my chest is mostly gone. I get it here and there, but it's mostly cleared up.
And that's my story, out there for the Internet.
If you've experienced this, leave me a comment. I'm interested to know who else has had this happen and what came of it!
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Sawyer's Birth Story
Sawyer was due on June 8. Taking into account the experience I had with Blake (shoulder dystocia, not dilating even at 41 weeks), I wanted to make sure that I didn't go a full 41 weeks this time. I wanted a smaller baby that didn't get stuck!
As soon as I could, I scheduled an induction for Thursday, June 4.
At my 37 week appointment, I was discussing my concerns with the doctor. I explained that the whole story and expressed my worry that I wouldn't be allowed to be induced early because of my unfavorable cervix. This is one of probably seriously 8 doctors I rotate through at this practice. I like them all, but I do a lot of rehashing because every appointment is like a first appointment. *le sigh*
He gave me the whole "every doctor has their own comfort level" speech and suggested a growth scan at 38 weeks to get an idea of how big the baby was, with the idea that if he was really that big, most doctors would be in favor of inducing at 39 weeks no matter what my cervix was doing, given my history.
So I reschedule my induction for Friday, June 5, not because of the baby but just to make it easier for me to manage childcare, since my mom wasn't coming till the weekend, and schedule the growth scan.
When I got the results of this growth scan, I almost fell off the table. I was 38 weeks and 1 day, but measuring 39 weeks and 5 days. The baby weighed 8lb 9 oz. I was wigging a little bit and hoping so hard that I could be induced early, and thinking that I REALLY didn't want to wait until my scheduled date of June 5, which at that point was still a week and a half away.
I talked to the doctor and he told me that these scans are notoriously wrong, always erring on the big side, etc. I didn't feel awesome about that news and decided to come back later in the week to see the doctor on call for Tuesday, June 2 (3 days before my scheduled date, or 39 weeks 1 day).
This is sure a lot of backstory.
So I talk to the doctor on call for June 2 and he has a completely different view than the last doc. (Why on earth do I have so many doctors with so many different ideas?) He says of course he will induce me on Tuesday and why wasn't I doing it on Monday and do I even want to TRY for a vaginal birth? Maybe we just go right for the c-section?
I have whiplash from the differing opinions and decide that Tuesday it is.
So we go in on Tuesday and wouldn't you know, they switched doctors on me! Ugh, after rescheduling appointments and dates and making extra appointments to see certain doctors...why the heck do I even try?
The doctor on call is now the doctor that delivered Blake. He got the job done, but was weird to communicate with. With Blake, he insulted my cervix's unfavorability and then wasn't even going to tell me what Blake's issue was, but then made a big deal about how important it was that I tell my doctor about it for future pregnancies because it puts me at high risk. Sheesh.
I wasn't thrilled to be working with him again. And my IV took three tries. And I was so un-dilated and un-effaced and posterior and high and tight and everything else that he couldn't even break my water. One nurse couldn't even FIND my cervix because it was so high and back.
They got my pitocin going at about 11, along with my antibiotics for GBS. This nurse was awesome at diluting the antibiotics. I couldn't even feel them going in. It was very impressive. To help me dilate faster, they inserted a foley balloon. They fill it with some water and insert it into your cervix, then pull on it every hour. When it comes out, they know you're at least dilated to a 3. The idea is that with contractions, the baby's head pushes on the bulb and it forces your cervix to open faster.
I think that finally came out at about 3:50. I was a stretchy 4 and the doctor broke my water. I had my epidural placed a couple hours earlier, and it made me feel reeeeallly nice. Best epidural of my life, though it did make my blood pressure drop a lot, which I've never had happen. The good news is that Sawyer handled the epidural really well. No decels like the other boys. Of course Sawyer had a much younger, more chipper placenta helping him out, being born at 39 weeks.
I dilated to a 7 pretty quickly from there. Then I was a 7...and a 7...and a 7...for about 3 hours. They had me using a peanut ball to open my hips and bring him down a little bit. It did work and I did feel pressure, but still I was at a 7. This whole time my pitocin was at an 8 or 12. It never got higher than a 12 (it was 18 with Blake, with no epidural...I am pretty much amazing for handling that as long as I did).
I was tired but couldn't sleep. I hadn't eaten since 8:00am, and I was losing steam. I couldn't believe I was stuck at a 7 like this!
Then the night shift came in. The new nurse checked me and said, "I actually put you at a 5 1/2." I cried. I was so defeated. I didn't want to talk to this nurse. She was just not making my day at all! She also told me that I had a fever ("probably just an infection in your uterus...oh, and your baby's head is swollen." what the crap? "Can I screw an internal monitor into his head to track the contractions better?" why the heck not.)
I cried to Mark that I was ruining the baby. He was getting way too much pitocin and way too much epidural and I wasn't going to have any strength left to push and they're going to have to do a c-section and this could take 10 more hours and I am so embarrassed for being so upset. Was my thinking.
The doctor came in and was so encouraging. I started to like him more. He made sure he understood all of my concerns, said that I was progressing fine and that he wasn't worried, and that I was dilated more than a 5 1/2. It made me feel a little better, but I was still down. Then he said, "we'll come back and check you in two hours." Two effing hours! This was at 8:30pm.
It started to get real, right after that conversation. I was on my side with my leg in a stirrup to keep my hips open, and I started to shake uncontrollably and feel incredible pressure during every contraction. It look a lot of concentration to get through them and I started to do that horsey blow with my lips, just kind of automatically. I guess maybe it helped?
Before long, it felt like something was coming out of my body. I thought the baby was crowning or I was pooping all over the bed. Neither was the case, but I was at a 9! Glory be. I had a lip of cervix on one side, so I switched sides, and it got way more intense. I could feel myself pushing and the nurse told me that the doctor was at another hospital and to "just breathe." I could feel him inching down with every contraction. I was telling Mark that they needed to get in here and set up the table and turn on the light, because this baby was not waiting!
Finally the doctor came. They had me do a "practice push" to "see if I remembered how to do it" and They only counted to 5 before making me stop. Then I pushed 3 times, and a couple of "mini" pushes, and his head was out.
Shoulders were stuck again! So I had 6 people pushing on me and yelling at me and pulling my knees up to my ears, trying to get him out.
Sawyer was born at 9:48pm. He weighed 9 lbs 2 oz! That growth scan the week before had been spot. on. His apgars were 7 and 8.
I didn't get an episiotomy, and I didn't have a single tear! I was amazed! My doctor made a joke, "well, that's it for me! I did my two shoulder dystocias for you! I'm done."
Are you telling me not to attempt another vaginal birth? He had said that it sometimes comes to that.
Then my doctor became himself again when I asked him how bad the shoulder dystocia had been. "Well, he was stuck." Aaaaaaaaaaagggggg. Facepalm. Yes, thank you. I hadn't noticed.
Sawyer was pretty hungry right away. I have heard of newborns, like, army crawling up their mother's abdomen to latch on. I of course don't believe this. I also don't believe that in the olden days, women would work in the field harvesting wheat, then go lie down in a meadow and painlessly push out a child before taking up her sickle promptly to return to her duties. This is all poppycock.
But Sawyer was totally rooting around while we were having skin to skin time right after they weighed him and wiped him off. He nursed twice while I was eating my amazing turkey sandwich and cookies and drinking sugary juice from a huge styrofoam cup, which is always the best meal in the world after you have a baby!
Once we went down to mom and baby, got his bath, and had all our vitals taken and everything you have to do right after the baby is born, it was past 1. Long, tiring, amazing day!
Another fun tidbit: Sawyer wasn't named until 5 minutes before we left the hospital! He was the hardest to name of all of our babies.
As soon as I could, I scheduled an induction for Thursday, June 4.
At my 37 week appointment, I was discussing my concerns with the doctor. I explained that the whole story and expressed my worry that I wouldn't be allowed to be induced early because of my unfavorable cervix. This is one of probably seriously 8 doctors I rotate through at this practice. I like them all, but I do a lot of rehashing because every appointment is like a first appointment. *le sigh*
He gave me the whole "every doctor has their own comfort level" speech and suggested a growth scan at 38 weeks to get an idea of how big the baby was, with the idea that if he was really that big, most doctors would be in favor of inducing at 39 weeks no matter what my cervix was doing, given my history.
So I reschedule my induction for Friday, June 5, not because of the baby but just to make it easier for me to manage childcare, since my mom wasn't coming till the weekend, and schedule the growth scan.
When I got the results of this growth scan, I almost fell off the table. I was 38 weeks and 1 day, but measuring 39 weeks and 5 days. The baby weighed 8lb 9 oz. I was wigging a little bit and hoping so hard that I could be induced early, and thinking that I REALLY didn't want to wait until my scheduled date of June 5, which at that point was still a week and a half away.
I talked to the doctor and he told me that these scans are notoriously wrong, always erring on the big side, etc. I didn't feel awesome about that news and decided to come back later in the week to see the doctor on call for Tuesday, June 2 (3 days before my scheduled date, or 39 weeks 1 day).
This is sure a lot of backstory.
So I talk to the doctor on call for June 2 and he has a completely different view than the last doc. (Why on earth do I have so many doctors with so many different ideas?) He says of course he will induce me on Tuesday and why wasn't I doing it on Monday and do I even want to TRY for a vaginal birth? Maybe we just go right for the c-section?
I have whiplash from the differing opinions and decide that Tuesday it is.
So we go in on Tuesday and wouldn't you know, they switched doctors on me! Ugh, after rescheduling appointments and dates and making extra appointments to see certain doctors...why the heck do I even try?
The doctor on call is now the doctor that delivered Blake. He got the job done, but was weird to communicate with. With Blake, he insulted my cervix's unfavorability and then wasn't even going to tell me what Blake's issue was, but then made a big deal about how important it was that I tell my doctor about it for future pregnancies because it puts me at high risk. Sheesh.
I wasn't thrilled to be working with him again. And my IV took three tries. And I was so un-dilated and un-effaced and posterior and high and tight and everything else that he couldn't even break my water. One nurse couldn't even FIND my cervix because it was so high and back.
They got my pitocin going at about 11, along with my antibiotics for GBS. This nurse was awesome at diluting the antibiotics. I couldn't even feel them going in. It was very impressive. To help me dilate faster, they inserted a foley balloon. They fill it with some water and insert it into your cervix, then pull on it every hour. When it comes out, they know you're at least dilated to a 3. The idea is that with contractions, the baby's head pushes on the bulb and it forces your cervix to open faster.
I think that finally came out at about 3:50. I was a stretchy 4 and the doctor broke my water. I had my epidural placed a couple hours earlier, and it made me feel reeeeallly nice. Best epidural of my life, though it did make my blood pressure drop a lot, which I've never had happen. The good news is that Sawyer handled the epidural really well. No decels like the other boys. Of course Sawyer had a much younger, more chipper placenta helping him out, being born at 39 weeks.
I dilated to a 7 pretty quickly from there. Then I was a 7...and a 7...and a 7...for about 3 hours. They had me using a peanut ball to open my hips and bring him down a little bit. It did work and I did feel pressure, but still I was at a 7. This whole time my pitocin was at an 8 or 12. It never got higher than a 12 (it was 18 with Blake, with no epidural...I am pretty much amazing for handling that as long as I did).
I was tired but couldn't sleep. I hadn't eaten since 8:00am, and I was losing steam. I couldn't believe I was stuck at a 7 like this!
Then the night shift came in. The new nurse checked me and said, "I actually put you at a 5 1/2." I cried. I was so defeated. I didn't want to talk to this nurse. She was just not making my day at all! She also told me that I had a fever ("probably just an infection in your uterus...oh, and your baby's head is swollen." what the crap? "Can I screw an internal monitor into his head to track the contractions better?" why the heck not.)
I cried to Mark that I was ruining the baby. He was getting way too much pitocin and way too much epidural and I wasn't going to have any strength left to push and they're going to have to do a c-section and this could take 10 more hours and I am so embarrassed for being so upset. Was my thinking.
The doctor came in and was so encouraging. I started to like him more. He made sure he understood all of my concerns, said that I was progressing fine and that he wasn't worried, and that I was dilated more than a 5 1/2. It made me feel a little better, but I was still down. Then he said, "we'll come back and check you in two hours." Two effing hours! This was at 8:30pm.
It started to get real, right after that conversation. I was on my side with my leg in a stirrup to keep my hips open, and I started to shake uncontrollably and feel incredible pressure during every contraction. It look a lot of concentration to get through them and I started to do that horsey blow with my lips, just kind of automatically. I guess maybe it helped?
Before long, it felt like something was coming out of my body. I thought the baby was crowning or I was pooping all over the bed. Neither was the case, but I was at a 9! Glory be. I had a lip of cervix on one side, so I switched sides, and it got way more intense. I could feel myself pushing and the nurse told me that the doctor was at another hospital and to "just breathe." I could feel him inching down with every contraction. I was telling Mark that they needed to get in here and set up the table and turn on the light, because this baby was not waiting!
Finally the doctor came. They had me do a "practice push" to "see if I remembered how to do it" and They only counted to 5 before making me stop. Then I pushed 3 times, and a couple of "mini" pushes, and his head was out.
Shoulders were stuck again! So I had 6 people pushing on me and yelling at me and pulling my knees up to my ears, trying to get him out.
Sawyer was born at 9:48pm. He weighed 9 lbs 2 oz! That growth scan the week before had been spot. on. His apgars were 7 and 8.
I didn't get an episiotomy, and I didn't have a single tear! I was amazed! My doctor made a joke, "well, that's it for me! I did my two shoulder dystocias for you! I'm done."
Are you telling me not to attempt another vaginal birth? He had said that it sometimes comes to that.
Then my doctor became himself again when I asked him how bad the shoulder dystocia had been. "Well, he was stuck." Aaaaaaaaaaagggggg. Facepalm. Yes, thank you. I hadn't noticed.
Sawyer was pretty hungry right away. I have heard of newborns, like, army crawling up their mother's abdomen to latch on. I of course don't believe this. I also don't believe that in the olden days, women would work in the field harvesting wheat, then go lie down in a meadow and painlessly push out a child before taking up her sickle promptly to return to her duties. This is all poppycock.
But Sawyer was totally rooting around while we were having skin to skin time right after they weighed him and wiped him off. He nursed twice while I was eating my amazing turkey sandwich and cookies and drinking sugary juice from a huge styrofoam cup, which is always the best meal in the world after you have a baby!
Once we went down to mom and baby, got his bath, and had all our vitals taken and everything you have to do right after the baby is born, it was past 1. Long, tiring, amazing day!
Another fun tidbit: Sawyer wasn't named until 5 minutes before we left the hospital! He was the hardest to name of all of our babies.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Another open letter, this one to the middle-aged moms who tell me to "enjoy every minute" or that "it gets better" when I'm wrangling two toddlers across a busy parking lot trying to not get anyone killed.
Prompted by a recent experience and this article.
Dear Experienced Mom,
Thanks for your concern that I have to assume comes from a place of love.
But...two things.
Secondly, it IS about enjoying your children and I do think that even the most stressed-looking moms are doing just that. Judging how a mom is acting when she's out in public, trying to get things done while a little person is throwing a tantrum and she has no time to herself, like ever, is not a good measurement of how much a woman loves motherhood or enjoys her kids. In those quiet, normal moments at home, even when the kids are being crazy but you know they are safe and contained, or in those moments when you see their eyes light up because they just learned something new or in those moments when they say, "hey Mom, look at this!" and they can hardly wait to show/tell/share something with you...those are the ones you remember.
So, that's why it irks me a little when moms with older kids tell me to enjoy it. It feels a little patronizing, because you don't know me and you don't know that I AM enjoying it, even if this trip to Kohl's was a little more exciting than I would prefer. Yeah, I am not cherishing the moment when my child runs hog wild into the middle of the street. I'm trying to get stuff done and keep the kids alive. Later, we'll go home and eat lunch together and make silly faces, then we'll read a book and he'll give me a hug and invent a funny dance, and I'll look a lot more like someone who is enjoying it.
Enjoy every moment of talking to your pre-teen about the naughty internet searches you found on the family laptop. I'll take the public meltdowns while I can get them.
Love,
Young Moms Who Love Their Kids
Dear Experienced Mom,
Thanks for your concern that I have to assume comes from a place of love.
But...two things.
First of all, you are undoubtedly looking at the past with rose-colored glasses. I'm sure that the time you had at home with your (singular, mind you) toddler was really special. I am already mourning my time like this with Jameson, even as it happens, because I know it will end quickly. It's a special age. But I'm also sure you had your share of grocery store trips that pushed you to the brink of insanity. I'm sure your son peed all over the carpet and then poured a box of Cheerios and a bottle of pancake syrup all over the kitchen floor, and that hearts were not shooting out of your eyes in those moments. We don't remember those things. We remember the good things, and the non-happy memories get fuzzy and pushed to the back (or we laugh about them - later), because the hard days aren't what it's about. (Hello, why else would any woman ever give birth twice?)
So, that's why it irks me a little when moms with older kids tell me to enjoy it. It feels a little patronizing, because you don't know me and you don't know that I AM enjoying it, even if this trip to Kohl's was a little more exciting than I would prefer. Yeah, I am not cherishing the moment when my child runs hog wild into the middle of the street. I'm trying to get stuff done and keep the kids alive. Later, we'll go home and eat lunch together and make silly faces, then we'll read a book and he'll give me a hug and invent a funny dance, and I'll look a lot more like someone who is enjoying it.
Enjoy every moment of talking to your pre-teen about the naughty internet searches you found on the family laptop. I'll take the public meltdowns while I can get them.
Love,
Young Moms Who Love Their Kids
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