since lately i have been blessed to become what miranda priestly would call an "incubus of viral plague," i've been taking a lot of drugs and having a lot of doctor's appointments. since i get sick every 5 seconds, i want all this on the record. eventually someone's gotta piece it together and figure out what the heck's wrong with me.
anyway, sometimes i feel like i know more than the doctors. here is a nearly accurate transcript of what happened to me yesterday at the doctor's office. my regular doctor was not in, so i had this other guy, and he, well...see for yourself.
doctor: so how are you?
me (shout whispering with neck veins bulging): i've been better.
doctor: oh, you're losing your voice.
me: i haven't been able to talk for the past 6 days.
doctor: oh, ok. so it looks like the other doctor gave you a script for antibiotics. are you taking those?
me: no. he said this was a virus.
doctor: let me look at your throat.
me: i need some steroids. i'm a professional communicator and this no voice thing cannot go on. the other doc told me i could have steroids if i didn't get better.
doctor: (pause)
me: and my friend told me she gets this all the time and she doesn't get her voice back until she does a burst of prednisone.
doctor: um yeah, we can do that. ok. the only thing is, they weaken your immune system.
me (should have said, thanks becky): i actually don't have an immune system, so we should be good.
doctor: ok i'll be right back.
5 minutes later
doctor: the other doctors told me you can't have the roids.
me (still shout whispering with neck veins bulging): seriously?
doctor: yeah, i polled 6 people.
me: (pause)
doctor: do you need anything else?
me: codeine would be nice.
doctor: mmmkay.
me: thanks.
doctor: and if you want to take the antibiotics, it's your call. but this is a virus. but they can't hurt.
me (what i should have said, thanks marisa): ok sure. maybe i will take the antibiotics unnecessarily now so that someday when they can actually help me i'll be immune to them. thanks. can't hurt, right?
5 comments:
I stalk you all the time..
(that sounded scary)
But I have to say, doctors will hand out anitbiotics like it is a handout candy..
I hope you feel better soon..
sometimes I think that I should open a clinic because I am sure that I know more than my kids Doc most of the time.
Hope you get feeling better. You sound like me a couple years ago i think I found out how to fix it. Let me know and I will pass that along.
And to cheer you up my favorite line of last nights 30 rock.
"You are gayer than the beach volleyball seen on top gun."
Classic. I should find out what doctor you went to so I can stay away from him. Sounds like a winner.
Gee, thanks! Haha I'm on steroids right now. prednisone. It's fun. I take like 5 a day...seriously.
I'd suggest asking for a CBC (Complete Blood Count) to see if you are anemic or if your thyroid is working OK. I kept getting sick, so my doctor checked all of that and sure enough, I was pretty anemic and my thyroid was shot to hell. Sine I started the iron and the thyroid meds, I don't get sick as often. Just a thought. Also, do you have white spots on the back of your throat? If so, i'd suggest the antibiotics. Also, you can go to my doc... he hands out the roids freely. I've been on prednisone like 3 times this year. It's the shiznit!
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