Lately, my eyesight has been deteriorating.
Or so I thought.
When I’m at church, I can’t make out the features of the people who are sitting at the front.
At least I don’t think I can.
When I’m looking at a PowerPoint projected onto the wall during a Web meeting at work, I can’t really read the slides.
Pretty sure I’m right about this.
So today I went to see an eye doctor we’ll call Dr. Leo Spaceman. Fellow 30 Rock fans know Leo for several gems of wisdom, including but not limited to:
“Medicine is not a science.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve always said, it’s that humans need more animal blood!”
Is it true that bread rots your brain? “We may never know, because the powerful bread lobby keeps stopping my research!”
My own Dr. Spaceman looked me in the eye and told me my eyes were perfect, and that “this exam is TOPS!”
This is my problem with the eye exam process: as a literate adult, I am extremely familiar with the alphabet, and can confidently identify a letter when placed before me. So…just because I see something and can judge by the smudgy outline that it’s a T, for example, doesn’t mean that my eyes are TOPS. Because you know, I can’t see faces and stuff. And in a lot of those “camera one, camera two” exercises, just because one was better than the other doesn’t mean that either was good.
Which is what I told Dr. Spaceman. And you know what he said? Ahem, “sometimes, our eyes just don’t see as well as we think they should.”
Uh-huh. That’s why people get contacts.
And then he tried making me feel guilty, saying, “some people can’t even see this.” And he scrolled to the line that looks like this:
E
And there are starving people in China.
7 comments:
Whatever Holly. We all know you're a contact addict, going around trying to get as many prescriptions as possible. :)
"I don't know how to say this . . . dee-ah-bah-tees?"
Maybe your eyes are tired?? My eyes don't work so well during allergy season because they're working so hard to fight off all of those life-threatening allergens.
Anyway, I'm sorry your doctor is lame.
Haha, Zach just had an eye exam last year because he also "thought" his vision was going bad. Maybe his optometrist moved to Utah.
AH! Christie beat me to it!
Oh, and how phenom was 30 Rock this week? I laughed the entire time... as always... but especially loud this week!
I LOVE this post!
Tracy Jordan: So how bad is diabetes, really?
Dr. Leo Spaceman: Quite serious. If left untreated you could lose a foot.
Tracy Jordan: Could I replace it with a wheel, like Rosie from the Jetsons?
Dr. Leo Spaceman: I suppose. But then you'd have to register as a motor vehicle.
My favorite part of your story is the patronizing tone he had when explaining that some eyes are not as good as others. ... exactly ... That's why you went to him in the first place.
He's a winner.
I have that same problem. Sometimes it's hard to read the board in class. I went to eye doctor and he told me the same thing. I think the modern medicine for the eye needs to be updated.
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