did you hear…

that now they’re saying that tanning beds are as harmful as cigarettes? devotees will recall that i often dream that i’m smoking, a dream that could connote both positive and negative things about my personality and/or future.

now, i’ve never smoked anything. that is if you don’t count getting hotboxed in my bathroom when the flat iron hits my hair and burns the styling product off it on the spot. that can be potent, i guess.

but i do tan in the summer, because my natural complexion could be described as “milky,” or “pallid” or “transparent like a dead fish.” i’m not stupid. i know tanning isn’t a healthy thing to do, and i’ve often told myself that i can quit whenever i want, yet spring after spring, there i am, haggling a tanning pass deal, telling myself i’m getting too old for this and that i need to embrace the pale but never really being able to beat it.

and i’ll tell you right now, the last thing i want to be is middle-aged and leathery. naturally tan is one thing, but fake baked into oblivion is quite another.

so here is what i’m thinking. next spring, i’ll be 26. i’ll be on the “other” side of my 20’s. old enough to quit tanning. of course, i am getting cancer anyway, from the diet coke and we’re ALL getting it from teflon…