thaaaanks, walmart.

in my area, we have two walmarts. one is crawling with college kids and mouth-breathers who congregate in the middle of aisles and won’t let you through. it smells in there. it’s filthy, it’s crowded, and they never have more than three checkers working at once, per usual walmart operating procedure of course, but the place is so packed that at any given time you’re going to be waiting a solid 20 minutes in line. your frozen foods straight up thaw while you wait in line. it gives me a panic attack. so i don’t go there.

the other walmart is new and clean and big and organized. i can always find what i need and i can always get through the checkout line in about 2 minutes. it’s like the walmart you would go to in heaven. this walmart is so nice, it almost has the target effect on me (which is of course the phenomenon of going to a well-laid-out big box store, buying way too much stuff, and feeling good about it).

the other day, i went to this celestial walmart to buy a dvd player. sad day – it didn’t work right. i returned it. fine. i got home and realized that (oh snap) i’d left one of my 30 rock dvds in the player! this is vintage holly. i knew this would happen (i just didn’t want to spoil the surprise). but some nice lady in claims at the glorious store dug through and found my dvd. it’s being held for me at customer service and i couldn’t be happier.

that’s service, folks. thanks, walmart. i will remember this.