The Case Against Kanye

Say what you will about this fine blog; one thing we've always tried to do is discuss the real issues. You know, indie rock. Kate Gosselin's hair. Coldness levels of the diet coke in the office fridge. So it should come as no surprise that I got my lawyer boyfriend to write up a little brief on the case against Kanye West. Big ol' jerk (Kanye, that is).

At the VMAs on Sunday, Kanye West struck again. When he approached and interrupted Taylor Swift during her Video of the Year acceptance speech, it was more than just rude. It was racist. Observe: Kanye claimed that Beyonce, an African-American woman, should have won the award over Taylor Swift, a Causacian recording artist. I’d like to introduce Kanye’s outburst at the VMAs as Exhibit 1.

One of the most invidious/insidious forms of racism is recklessly playing the race card. (Kind of like I’m doing right now, but I’m not reckless.) In 2005, Kanye, at a fund-raiser for victims of Hurricane Katrina, blurted out, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” Exhibit 2, please.

And what about the 2006 European MTV VMAs incident? Kanye rushed the stage and whined about not winning the award for Best Video, which went to Justice and Simian for “We Are Your Friends.” Is it merely a coincidence that Justice and Simian are white? I don’t think so. Let this be Exhibit 3.

Let’s review the evidence: George Bush, Justice, Simian, Taylor Swift – all white.

I’ve met my burden, Kanye. It’s now up to you to prove that you’re not a Black Panther in disguise. Help an old white lady cross the street. Donate money to the Mormons. Eat a soybean burger. Drive a Prius. In short, be nice to white people. Prove to us by your words, and more importantly, your actions, that you are not racist.

The ball’s in your court. And I’m not saying that because you’re black. I’m saying that because it’s something white people say.