Well, I will tell you.
Tonight while Mark was practicing shooting, I went to ye ole rec center for a nice long cardio session and a little weights action.
That's not the sexy part.
Even when I was single and going to the gym with the acute knowledge that men could be found virtually anywhere, I never have looked good at the gym. When I go to the gym I pretty much just hop on the treadmill with the sincere hope and belief that the for the next hour, I will be that treadmill's beeotch and sweat like a banshee so I can move on with my life.
So I'm there and I got the treadmill that the fan's blowing on and I'm pretty happy despite the fact that the girl next to me is leisurely strolling at a 1.5 or something wearing flip flops. Flip flops!! To exercise!!
Anyway, here comes sexy.
There's a girl on the mat behind the treadmills, sprawled out, presumably stretching. She has Kim Kardashian hair and strategically placed cleavage and I hope she's just cooling down.
Little did I know, things were just heating up.
The girl stands to leave the room, then walks over the the weight room where a second fan stands at attention. She struts over and poses in front of it, flipping her hair in slow motion.
She walks back into the cardio room. Slowly. She gets on an elliptical machine and starts moving, turning her head a hard 110 degrees to the mirror at her right and sort of behind her to stare at her derrière.
I stare up at the security camera as if to say, "are you getting all this?" and "Are we filming a rap video? Because I didn't bring my booty shorts or false eyelashes."
The girl is so busy staring at her rump that she almost falls down.
I laugh inside.
I'm starting to feel pretty bad at this point, but I'm also about 400 calories in, and when I'm working hard at the gym and other people are just putzing along, barely breaking a sweat, I have flashbacks of high school math class. That is of me, a senior, in junior level math, trying so hard to solve for x when the sophomores in the corner are laughing. I'm mad because either they're way smarter than I or they like math and both of those are terrible.
Anyway, so after another slo-mo hair flip in front of the weight room fan, our little friend saunters back into the cardio room and decides to give the stationary bike a try and get this...tries to move the fan that is facing me to face that bike!
At this point I'm about to pounce, because the only thing worse than listening to a sophomore laughing in math class is being at the rec center sweating my head off while the fan points at someone who's biking at a glacial pace.
Lucky for us all, the girl doesn't have the core/upper body strength to budge it an inch and she gives up.
I try to tune it out. I also try to tune her out while I'm doing triceps dips and she's doing crunches in half time on the bench press bench.
And that, my friends, is how the Provo rec center does sexy. Please don't come watch; we're short on machines.
7 comments:
That sounds like the routine of many a Provo girl at Golds Gym. The husband left Gold's for that very reason (or so he tells me). Who knew the rec center had such floozies too?
Stop it RIGHT NOW! Please tell me guys don't fall for this crap. So funny.
At least you didn't have to watch a grope session in the hot tub while you were trying to swim laps. Some people have no shame!
Bahaha!
I forgot what it was like to go to the gym in Utah! I was always the beasty one with no make up dripping in sweat! How those girls workout like that and look the way they do amazes me! Ugh jerks!
nothing is worse than people trying to be cute while working out. not sure if you watch real housewives of new jersey (the real housewives series is a weakness of mine), but there was a woman at my gym this morning that looked exactly like kim g. (i hope you watch that show, if not that won't mean anything to you...i'll just say she was definitely older than middle-aged but clearly had plenty of work done to make herself feel like she wasn't).
Oh, ho, ho. I have the man version of this story from my days in college. It was from one of the two times I forced myself to go to the gym.
I can't remember if I already shared it on the blog, but if I didn't, that is definitely one of the posts for the near future.
Thanks for the laugh. I could literally see the hair flipping.
well now that's funny, i swear i saw that same broad down here at my gym in dallas last week. except she never got on a machine, never broke a sweat, just spent 20minutes posing, stretching, and staring in the mirror. there's great joy in knowing we detest her all the same. :)
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