Dear Kiosk People at the Mall,
I see you there.
Yep, I can see you.
If I want to talk to you about what you’re selling, I will approach you, much the way I approach a store that is selling something I’m interested in.
You don’t see salespeople popping their heads out of the Gap into the corridor of the mall, going “excuse me, excuse me ma’am! Ma’am! Ma’am! Can I ask you about khakis and white shirts?” Feverishly keeping in step with me as I pass by their store.
Guess what? If you’re asking me if you can ask me a question, it sounds like you just did. So please kindly let me go about my business of stimulating the economy by buying Christmas gifts for my friends and loved ones that they will actually like and use.
Next time I feel like I could use some healing by using minerals from the Dead Sea, you are the first person I’ll call.
Or, if you’re going to ask me a quick question, I’d like it to be:
Excuse me, ma’am, how can I make my hair as shiny as yours?
Excuse me, ma’am, are you a professional model?
Excuse me, ma’am, would you please take this $10k off my hands?
Those are your options. Choose wisely…
Regards,
Holly
4 comments:
ahh! i always feel terrible when i tell those dead sea guys no!
I wish there was a word in our language that could adequately emphasize how much I agree with this letter.
Alas, there is not.
Holly... everything that comes out of your mouth (or your blog) is funny. Thank you for that.
Oh yes! Happily I have one of those mean off putting faces. I rarely get the approach. Alan the softy on the other hand gets it all the time. I give one shrively shrew look and they back off.
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