best little black dress ever.

i have a little black dress. it is the best little black dress ever. it's a chloe dress. i bought it on the internet. i don't know if it was legit or not...but boy do i love it. and i can never wear it because i don't have a fancy enough occasion.

like a holiday party.

the last time i had a fancy holiday party to go to, i didn't even have the dress. i wore a dress i like a lot but it was not THE dress.

that holiday party was sure a scream though. i went stag and drank a bunch of diet cherry cokes with my drink tickets, circulated the room, got interrogated by swarms of married people, sat with all my work bffs and their significant others.

then about halfway through the "entertainment" - you know, someone had been murdered and the girl in the bad blond wig was going to keep doing that shrill, contrived screaming "whodunit" until we solved the mystery. too bad half my coworkers were drunk off their chairs and the other half were in food comas by this point. everyone but me was inebriated in some way. i was just extra alert from all my diet cherry cokes. and of course we were just a couple minutes away from a real murder, meaning me murdering blond wig chick.

and of course there's an extra seat at my table because you know, i didn't bring my +1, and by the way i should have tried to get the drink tickets my +1 would have gotten but i was young and sweet and didn't want to steal from the company. and of course someone from another department busts into the room in a polo shirt and jean cutoffs at this point, and by the way she was slurring her words let's just say i hope she took the bus, and of course she sits at the extra seat at my table.

and of course she proceeds to offend everyone sitting with me in the most interesting ways.

saddest part is, i'm the only one who remembers it.

if i had to endure that again, at least i would have my black chloe dress. i'm just saying.