i'm from the town with the most high strung airport security system in north america. to be fair, i haven't ever been outside north america and some countries might be more hyper about it...but given the choice of dulles, l.a.x., s.f.o., boston logan, chicago o'hare and lewiston regional, lewiston regional takes the cake in totally out of control security practices.
once, pre-911, i kept setting off the buzzy thingy. i went through. it buzzed. i took out my earrings. it buzzed. i held my breath. it buzzed.
wanna know what was making it buzz? a luggage key in my jeans pocket with a piece of metal the size of one quarter of a very old dime.
c'mon people.
today, it is even more off the scale. i was there today and not only did i have to pay a total of $80 to check my bags round trip (neither here nor there but a pretty slutty charge. i was offended on the ads-on-the-front-page-of-the-newspaper level...it is wrong. have some respect!), but they had one guy working the security line.
he was a slow talker.
the lady in front of me was approximately 90 years old and couldn't take a step without a cane. so what did they do? just took her in the corner and felt her up for a good 5 minutes when she made the buzzy thing go off. probably eventually figured out it was all her titanium joints, sweet lady.
c'mon people.
i was trying to buy a diet coke in the "sterile area" (don't even get me STARTED on that nomenclature. seriously, if the boarding area of an airport is sterile then it would make perfect sense for me to drink out of my dog's water dish.) when the dude made me board instead. it was about 30 minutes before the plane even took off. the plane holds about 18 people and getting to it is about a 4 second travel time walking on the tarmac or jet way or whatever it's called.
c'mon, people.
it was a lot to handle on an empty stomach with no caffeine. having inherited some anxiety from one side of the family and a touch of neurosis from the other, the only prayer in the world i've got is an even blood sugar level. when they announced that there were no peanut butter crackers (only those sick delta airline cookies or peanuts), i about took my quart sized bag of liquids, gels and aerosols and threw it at the flight attendant's head.
but i fell asleep instead.
10 comments:
Ha Ha- this made me remember all the times I flew out from Lewiston!! I remember having them take away my eye lash curler- and the Security guy inspecting tampons...
Hahahaha! One time in Pocatello, I set off the metal detector with a foil gum wrapper in my back pocket. And, it wasn't even a full piece of gum. It was half. I feel so safe traveling within the state of Idaho.
try going through Ben Gurion Airport in Israel... and having to concentrate on explaining why you are coming into the country all while staring at those beautiful Israeli men and listening to those hot accents...its rough, i almost wish they had taken me into a corner and well you get the point. Its rough here too. Love your blog.
small airports ALWAYS try to be so tough with their security. it's the only way they can feel important. once when i was flying out of pocatello something in my bag made their bomb alert thing (not the official name) go off. turns out my shoes had gun powder on them because i had worn them shot gun shooting a few days prior. even after i explained this to them they continued to treat me like i was a terrorist. and if i were (which i'm not...i don't want to get arrested here either), i certainly wouldn't try to bomb their stupid small airport.
i hear you on the baggage charges! at the dublin airport my family was charged 350 euro for over weight bags. apparently you're supposed to travel in europe for 2 weeks with 1 suitcase under 30 lbs.
One time I was flying out of LAX and I started getting snippy at the security lady because she was just buggin'. I guess she decided to get me back, so she told me that sweaters really needed to be taken off and sent through security. I was wearing a cardigan over a tank top with my authorized pattern underwears underneath, so I told her I couldn't take my cardigan off for religious purposes. So she took me to a room off to the side and made me take off the cardigan. It was pretty embarrassing. So next time, I won't be a smart ass to the TSA.
That's true. The Lewiston airport is out of control. And I hate how small those planes are...they really freak me out.
You make me laugh so hard... When does the "If I were really Skinny" magazine come out? I want one... monthly!
It's actually becca :)
Ok, thanks to this post, I almost threw out my back trying to keep the giggles in.
I don't know what it was about the slow talker and the geriatric, but it was hilarious.
If I get an injury from reading your blog, do you think that would count for worker's compensation?
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