Have I told you about my 40 mile (one way) commute (with road construction galore)?
Do any of you have a commute this long? Please tell me if you do so I can feel better about myself.
During my morning drives, I have been able to think of things about it that annoy me, with nuance. Like how the sun is exactly in between my window and windshield right above eye level, so with each slight curve of the road I have to switch my visor back and forth. Sometimes by the time I get to work I feel like I’m already ready to go home. So anyway, you’ve heard Jeff Foxworthy talk about how to know that you might be a readneck. Here is my list…
“You might want to move out of the left lane”
1. If you’re a semi truck, you might want to move out of the left lane.
2. If you’ve got your cruise control set to the speed limit, you might want to move out of the left lane.
3. If you’ve been camping out in the left lane since 6 exits ago, you might want to move out of the left lane.
4. If you hate your job so much, you can’t be bothered to even go the full speed limit on your drive to work, you might want to move out of the left lane.
5. If you’re in a Geo Metro and you’re going up that hill at the point of the mountain, you might want to move out of the left lane.
6. If you’re too busy having an existential breakthrough to watch the road, you might want to move out of the left lane.
7. If there are five cars behind you and zero cars in front of you, say it with me now, you might want to move out of the left lane.
Any you’d like to add?
7 comments:
If you are not in a car but actually on a bicycle, you might want to move out of the left lane.
If you are putting makeup on and eating, you might want to move out of the left lane.
If your face is covered with blood and you are coughing, you might want to move out of the left lane.
If I am in the left lane, you might want to move out of the left lane.
How are these, Honey?
testing
So, I guess now would be a bad time to brag that I don't ever have to get on the freeway to go to work, right?
There are some sweet foreclosures in our neighborhood ... I'm just saying.
If you are too busy talking to mom on your cell phone... move out of the left lane.
And all suzuki samuris should just plan on sticking to the right hand side. Commutes are rough. I despise mine and it is ridiculously short.
i have a 50 min drive. i feel your pain sista!
love the list. my favorite is the geo metro...I'm laughing out loud. :) miss ya.
Along with the semis, if you're towing a boat, trailer, or manufactured home (really if you're towing ANYTHING)...get out of the left lane.
One thing got me through my long commute (granted it still wasn't 40 miles): carpool. And all those reasons to get out of the left lane? Also reasons to get out of the carpool lane :)
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