why i love mark zuckerberg.

i don't watch the bachelor, and this is why:

once upon a time, there was a very earnest college sophomore named hollylynn. she had watched every episode of the bachelor/bachelorette there was. she and her roommates loved every season and watched faithfully as a "family." even though she can't remember a single contestant at all now, the bachelor(ette) franchise was very important to her, and it was so nice to see chris harrison getting work other than on that horrendous hgtv show, designer's challenge (which she also loved a lot, btw). no, she doesn't remember any of them. except one.

the one with meredith.

you remember meredith, too. short dark hair, square jaw, terrible at making huge life decisions on tv...ringing any bells?

you know...this clown:


it was a pretty standard season of the bachelorette until she chose ian over matt. or was it matt over ian? who has time to think about names, anyway.

the point is, hollylynn, along with one of her roommates (someone remind me which one!) was in love with matt/ian/the one that didn't get picked and they knew that since they couldn't have him because they were no good at sharing, that meredith should have him. they were mfeo.

but it goes beyond that. not only were the girls miffed about meredith's poor choice, they actually cried about it.

tears.

it was very emotional.

and one of the other roommates (it was kassie or rashelle...one who wasn't crying) took pictures of hollylynn and her roommate, boo-hooing over stupid meredith. all i can say is: good thing facebook hadn't been invented yet, because that was not a pretty picture. and had mark zuckerberg gotten around to his invention just a year or two earlier, there would be a horrid picture tagged of hollylynn, crying at a reality tv show, online for the viewing pleasure/horror of all those who would facebook stalk her forever more.

so thank you, mark zuckerberg, for putting off your innovation until hollylynn's junior year. because of facebook's delayed inception, she was able not only to actually focus on her studies for the first two years of school, but she was also able to escape public humiliation (until she subjected herself to it anyway by writing this post).

does this ever happen to you?

you know how some weeks, you have enough clothes to get you through the week but you KNOW that you will need to do your laundry on saturday?

and you think about it all week long?

and then saturday comes and you would rather do ANYTHING but your laundry?

and then it's two in the afternoon and you still haven't done your chores because you've been busy doing a lot of other really important stuff like drinking diet coke out of a luminarc tumbler with heart-shaped ice cubes, doing yoga and then pilates just for kicks, watching your roommate hang up some art in the kitchen, watching split ends while really hoping that millionaire matchmaker or any of the housewives shows will be on next?

just me?

ok.

p.s. congratulations to one of my favorite people ever, kathleen, on getting engaged! i wish you all the best, even if it is true that i probably will not be marrying steve's brother. ;)

i love my life.

so today i get out of work and of course trudge through 6 inches of charming utah powder in my ballet flats. i get it, i'm stupid.

then i make the one mile, 30 minute trek home along with hundreds of other drivers that i swear have been air lifted here from pasadena just this afternoon. i figure it's probably not a good idea to go to salt lake tonight like i had originally planned.

but then i go home and oh, what's this? no power or heat at my place because the roommate who moved out had everything shut off last week and didn't tell me? and even though i had things turned back on and paid the asinine deposits and was told i would be made a priority given the weather, everything was STILL in the off position like my ipod during an airplane landing (that always annoys me)?

yeah.

oh, and my cell phone battery is dying and i've been on hold with the power company for 20 minutes with no sign of a customer service rep helping me in the next year or so?

you get it.

so i use the remaining cell phone battery i've got to illuminate my room enough to locate: cell phone charger, laptop, laptop charger, purse, coat, scarf, boots and any two socks, load everything up and head out.

and i have no food in my house because i only got back from christmas six days ago and hadn't made it to the store yet (again, stupid) and i was planning on having something tasty during my supposed jaunt to salt lake, natch.

no problem, i thought. there is a little caesar's on the way to my friends' house. i'll grab a $5 pizza. and can i tell you i was quite a sight at that little caesar's. picture this:

green sweatpants tucked into my furry brown boots
matching green hoodie (hood ON my head)
remains of today's makeup lining the crevasses of the stress wrinkles around my eyes and mouth
cashmere pashmina draped elegantly about my neck
black pea coat topping it all off
bad attitude seeping from my pores

only, what's this? hollylynn's wallet fell out of her purse somewhere between the illuminated office and the illuminated pizza joint? and she doesn't get any dinner? and hopefully she can find her wallet if/when her power and heat ever are turned on?

suffice it to say, it hasn't been my night.

my dear friends are letting me blog, call the utility company and rant incoherently at their kitchen table while i wait. i love them.

but they don't have tv. and i am missing gossip girl.

don't tell me what i missed.

but i hear aaron rose is gone-zo. and i couldn't be happier.

an apology.

dear blog,

i am deeply sorry. i missed our blogoversary. i meant to congratulate our partnership on our 200th post and mention how much i love blogging and how i appreciate the creative outlet it allows me and how much i love reading the things that other people blog/care about.

yay blogging.

this is the 203rd post. as usual, i am a day late and a dollar short. but i love you anyway. and you should probably get used to my tardiness cuz it ain't going away.

xoxo
hollylynn

confession.

i totally punked out on halloween.

i didn't dress up as sarah palin...i didn't put on a headband with cat ears and draw myself some whiskers with eyeliner...i didn't do anything.

i wore jeans and my fav hoodie from 2003. i called it: "holly: the college years." or as one of my friends so aptly and michael scott-ly put it, a "hollygram."

everyone thought it was a total scream.

office chat.

today i had a conference call with some of my people.

me: ok, is everyone here?
everyone: yes.
colleague: sweet; who brought salsa and guac?
me: i brought chips.
colleague: oh, so did i.
me: oh.
everyone: (pause)
colleague: what kind of chips did you bring?
me: i didn't bring chips. i was lying.
colleague: are you running for office?

crackheaded family humor.

here's greeting card idea my dad and i had tonight.

on the front: a little mosquito told me you had west nile.

inside: sorry, that bites.

don't you wish you were us?

give a little bit of your love to me. no but seriously, give it.

dear cyberbuddies,

i got this idea from mindi who got it from amy's blog and i decided to blindly copy like a little sheep.

this is how you play...

1. as a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and i had together. it doesn't matter if you are my bff in real life or you just drop by occasionally for that healthy dose of vapidity and poor punctuation you so desperately crave. even if you just stalk my blog, leave a comment about a memory you have reading it.

2. next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. it's actually pretty funny to see the responses. if you leave a memory about me, i'll assume you're playing along. i will then be sure to go to your blog and share a memory about you. and don't worry - i'll make sure it's the greatest story ever told. i might even lie a little if it makes you sound better. if you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, i'll leave my memory of you in my comments but then i might not lie as much because seriously people, this is serious stuff. also, you should have a blog. it's 2008. if you're not blogging you're missing out on one of the biggest joys in life!

3. play nice. remember, blogging is all about the love. so...i would really rather see something like this:

Myspace Compliment Comments
than something like this:

Insult Graphic Commentsready! set! GO!!

xoxo
hollylynn