you're making a knife out of a knife?

usually i don't love the office, but it sure has its moments...like tonight when dwight was using a knife to carve a knife out of wood (presumably to kill andy).

thanks, mindi, for stealing this image from someone so i could steal it from you.

yoinking stuff left and right.

so earlier today i totally kyped the funny halloween safety flier from jmadd and now i'm taking a page from i *heart* you's book and posting the chuck bass commercial.

i've been meaning to tell you all that when i think about britney spears lately, my heart swells with pride for our girl. seriously, she looks great. and that womanizer song (#1 on the playlist...check it. if you haven't been humming it for the past two weeks you must have a life or something) is one of her best yet. my fav, for sure. well, second that is. second only to "not a girl, not yet a woman." reminds me of freshman year of college, first roommates, good ol days. #2 on the playlist for old times' sake...what's wrong with that?

anyway, you know i love chuck so i was pretty thrilled with this ad. enjoy:

let's get down to the issues.

amber at webbworldwide had this to say about the debate last night, and i thought i'd repost it because, classy dame that she is, amber believes in equitable jabbing.

I don't like to get into politics, but here's what I wish the
presidential candidates were REALLY debating about.

Me: Senator McCain, if elected president how will you help my teething twins to sleep through the night?

McCain: Let me tell you about Joe the Plummer (Grinch Grimmace). He wanted his own set of teeth, but the government was taxing him too heavily (blink blink), making them completely unaffordable. As president, I will not raise taxes so your teething twins and Joe the Plummer can acheive the American Dream of growing their own set of teeth.

Me: The American Dream? Uh, ok. Senator Obama, how would you help my teething twins sleep through the night?

Obama: (Craning neck) There are plenty of people with teeth to go around. With all these people chomping on more teeth than they can ever grow cavities in, why do babies need to grow their own? As president, I will make sure those who have any more than 250,000 teeth will pony up all the excess (flashes pearly whites). They don't mind. They already have too many teeth. Then your teething twins can skip the teething process and start out life with a complete set of adult teeth. Plus I will send them off to college.

Me: They're eleven months old. Weird.

thanks, amber! i think that about sums it up.

a love letter.

dear chuck bass,

what is your deal, anyway? i want so badly to know who messed you up. because i love you.

you're a dirty rotten scoundrel, and i want to help you.

if you ever looked at me with that little glare thing you do, i would probably want to laugh, but i would hold it in because i love your preppy arrogance.

i love it.

and so does blair. blair is the only woman i would surrender you to.

so give a sister a break. she will come around.

xoxo,

hollylynn

yesss...

take a look at this man.i'm going to go ahead and say that if he approached me at, heck, the grocery store in broad daylight, lest a club, i would probably be scared and make a bee line to the other side of the room where i would gather my girlfriends, stand in a circle and clap my hands. name that song.

but this man would probably be able to woo one of us away from the circle, because he supposedly can get any woman he wants. his name is mystery and he's the host of vh1's "pick-up artist."

i'm a little scared of mystery, but his show is AWESOME.

in a battle of fabulosity between the pick up artist and gossip girl, i'd have to say (and be careful because i'm about to make a strong statement. if you're not prepared you might want to go off somewhere quiet and think about hannah montana) that i'm not sure which would win. i blaspheme. but i'm not sorry.

mystery takes 12 unfortunate guys (scared of girls, lives in mom's basement, women think he's gay, you get the idea) and teaches them how to talk to girls and actually get their interest.

and it totally works!

i love watching it. say what you will about mystery, but his nail polish is never chipped, his guyliner never smeared, and he's got us girls all figured out. mad props. i will be watching.

any other fans out there?

meat is the new bread!

i have a feeling that a lot of you missed this video because my blog did something screwy and put this video a few posts down. but you need to watch it.
yay alec baldwin
yay tina fey
yay tracy jordan...eh...morgan
yay yay yay

30 Rock - The Meat Machine Movies & TV SPIKE.com

a love letter.

dear coke fridge at my office,

i don't know what has brought on this change, but i love it. for the past two days, not only have you stocked abundant amounts of diet coke, but you have managed to hold them at optimum coldness so that when i pop the top open, ice starts to form.
i like that.
i like you.
thank you, coke fridge at my office.

xoxo
hollylynn

warning: the hills still very rad.

first of all, i loved the hills tonight. let's get that out there right away. lo bosworth: you are such a mean girl. take a class in basic human interaction.

anyhoo, the pettiness did not disappoint and i'm not going to tell you i didn't feel at all famous when i saw the new character, holly. because i kind of did okay?

i like that holly was briefly in town and the first thing heidi did with her was take her somewhere to get extensions. seriously, that kills me.

also loved audrina as always, and i am now officially a justin bobby fan, so there.

be honest.

on a standard scale of 13-39, how excited are you for the hills tonight?

you don't have to be shy. i kind of wish i could tell you that this petty drama didn't interest me at all...only it does. a lot. and how cute is this picture...

warning: blake lively still fabulous.

my fav girl is on the cover of cosmo this month and while i don't really care for cosmo, i love people.com, and they had a little piece of the cosmo interview on their site today.

basically, we just add to things we like about blake, who is not a troubled girl but plays one on tv:

1. carefree hair

2. rockin' bod

3. pensive face

4. good girl image

"i've kissed just three people." and "there wasn't a period in my life like serena (her gossip girl character) went through. i never went through that kind of crazy."

5. laughs at herself

"i hope brad pitt doesn't hear this. he's never going to want to marry me!"

you funny, lady!

fine field reporting.

i love joel mchale. love love love.

last weekend i was supposed to see him perform in vegas, and i couldn't. don't ask...i can't even talk about it. BUT, you can read about it here on mindi's blog.

but, of course the journalist in me wanted to send my own correspondent, my aunt joellen who does not have a mom haircut. take it away, joellen:

Well let's just say that it was a little slice of heaven. He was SSOOOOOO nice. I am always so nervous that I would meet someone I enjoyed like Joel and he would be rude. He kept saying how he was so glad that we came, he asked us questions like he really cared. He was more than happy to sign the huge panties (see mindi's blog above for explanation) and then added Ryan! to the crotch.

He is really tall and pretty skinny.

As we embraced I could feel his bones a little, not that I would
break him but maybe a good bruise.

His show was pretty good, personally I could listen to him for hours talking about his boys and his wife and in-laws. He had on some random outfit and I wished later that I would have asked "what is going on here?"

He made a joke about being in Utah and making a George W joke and it went silent then one guy stood up and said "what did you just say". Then he got attacked my a Mormon mob, served his two years and he is all good. We held up our panties in line and said "Mormons for McHale" He asked if we were really Mormons and we said Yes and he said that we are really clean people after smelling the large panties.

well, there you have it, people. joel is real, and he is in fact just as fabulous as we all imagined.

love the girlfriends.

1. just saw sisterhood of the traveling pants part dos. highly recommended. reminded me of all my best gal pals. all of you...you can stand under my umbrella.ella.ella.eh..eh...eh.

2. my friend michelle is in new york for three weeks. why. why? WHY? but she still reads my blog. she's a little viking about it, to steal a line from juno. and tonight she posted a comment about my cereal post two posts down that made me full-on el-oh-el. you don't have to dig. i post it for you right here.

the only thing you're missing, michelle, is that if you want to have rilly good dreams about my dills when you're sleeping on your pellow, you want to be sure to have a cup of hot melk before you go to sleep.

xoxo

hollylynn

i love this dress.

dear blake,

could you be any more amazing? your name is so cute, and your hair so careless. if i were really skinny, i would wear this dress every day and never stop making that pensive face.

also i think you're a reasonably good actress, and i will be seeing sisterhood of the traveling pants 2 on opening night. additionally, i await gossip girl season 2 with bated breath.

xoxo
hollylynn

provo's not real...and these people agree with me.

if you're my friend in real life, you've heard me say that provo isn't real. and it isn't. and if you don't know what i mean i'll be happy to tell you why.

i've gotten a couple of recommendations to check out this blog. i would like to toss in my own glowing recommendation for "seriously so blessed." it's awesome! excellent satire of the whole experience and if you've ever been dying to move to utah and observe all the mormons in their natural habitat, well now you don't have to. crisis averted.

i like that it only jabs at cultural mormonism, not doctrinal mormonism. and mad props to people who are willing to do this and so well, too. usually when i make fun of things i like to make it abundantly clear that i'm being funny - but this blog really owns it. all deadpan, all the time.

check it out; it doesn't disappoint.

you (singular) like me. you REALLY like me!

well, my blog got an award from mindi! i don't know what to say...

...except

THANKS, friend!

i've found the interweb to be a wonderful place to meet tons of people who probably in real life are not at all how they describe themselves, namely, i imagine many of you to be toothless old men. or robots. but i practice inclusion, plus a number of you link to me so what are you gonna do, you know?

i vow to do my best to continue making my blog as brillante as possible. and i'd like to pass this honor along to:

emily of emily ever after

kathleen of kathleen's guide

erin of the queen of clean (subject to revocation if you do not update immediately if not sooner!)

janessa of so what's next?

cami of the waldon family

dar of the charmed life of the pingels

becky of project domestication

okie doke, winners. now here are the rules:

1. please put the logo on your blog.

2. add a link to the person who awarded you.

3. you must nominate 7 fellow bloggers for this award.

4. add links to the recipients.

5. leave a comment so the recipients know they have received an award.

xoxo

hollylynn

funny stuff real people said.

the other night my roommate were leaving to go to the mormon phenomenon that is ward prayer (aka ward stare or snack and mack - grab a cookie, take a lookie!)

as we walked out the door, my sassy british roommate said to me,

"i have a headache. do you think that's from too much diet coke or not enough?"

then while talking with some of my girlies and mentioning something someone had said to me, about me, one looked shocked and deadpanned,

"you mean we aren't the only ones gossiping?!"

oh girls, you are splendid people.

and remember, dear ones...

this saturday i had the good fortune of watching a rerun of snl. it was the one where jonah hill hosts and sings the "i'm fancy!" song, and mariah carey is there too, looking soooo skinny. by the way, if i were really skinny i would become a recording artist and wear shorts. just like mariah who made snl hot like fiah.

anyhoodle...i had seen this episode before but i remembered it being great. what i forgot? the FABULOUS suze orman skit. oh my heck (and i don't say "oh my heck" too often).

if you love me and want me to be happy, you will watch this clip and leave a comment quoting your favorite line.

i can't find the one that was on this episode online, darn it all, but it's still good, nay, great. you have to sit through the commercial, but you'll thank me...trust me. my fav quote is:

"lay it on me like a lead x-ray
bib at the dentist."

one more thing.

in case you still needed convincing that lagoon is indeed the happiest place on earth, you might want to check out this tasty treat from master film director alexander woolums, featuring the vocal stylings of one jared hanks.

and i'm proud to be an american.

this weekend was four days of hard core, in your face, all family time all the time, time, with both family that kinda came included with purchase when i was born as well as some of the family i've made along the way. and i am sure glad to be an american. here's a little uninteresting trivia that you will probably read even though i already told you it was dull.

did you know that the white rollercoaster at lagoon was built in 1921? did i already tell you that when i ride on it i feel like i'm in a horror flick, but i'll still ride it three times in one day?

did you know that when you go to a barbeque at my grandma's house that you will have your choice of three types of brownies but that you will be encouraged to try all three?

did you know that even though you harass your extended family members to join the blogosphere, they never will because they don't think they have anything to say?? i tell them that if they're thinking, they've already got it all wrong.

did you know that if you go downtown in provo on july 3rd that you will find lots of byu students getting wasted and camping out for the parade and you'll probably see at least one fight and at least two ex-boyfriends?

did you know that when you're trying to sleep till noon on july 4th you'll hear the entire firefighting/police force driving down your street in the parade going one mile an hour with their sirens blasting the whole blasting time?

did you know that my little cousins, including maddie rose up there, are the cutest kids alive? i told her to make a kissy face and that's what i got.

hope your fourth was fab.

xoxo
hollylynn

5 minutes to midnight.

big shout out to one of my fav ladies - emily margaret. today she posted the sweetest little post and included this photo which i like to call em.me. yep, that's a palindrome. i reads the same forward and backward. my friendship with em is like, so deep. like an onion. with the layers.

i ask you to kindly refrain from asking what my hair is doing in this picture. everyone experiments in college, mmmk?

i love em and the rest of my college girls like carrie loves miranda. btw, check out this post to see a.c. slater as carrie bradshaw. creepy/amazing.

here's to all y'all...jacque, kassie, rashelle, kayla, ashley, candy, janelle, colette, carrie, melodie, velvet, chelsie, maryellen, ally, heather, tiffany, angie, darcy, tex, melissa, alex and emily. love you long time. heart you a bazillion tallies. love you a million no-bakes at three a.m. love you a horkley's 44 at 5 minutes to midnight. that's all i'm saying.